SHORT FILM MANIA!!

FEEDBACK PLEASE
Hey everybody- I did this short film over Thanksgiving break and we need feedback on how well the story reads. So be brutally honest about what doesn't make sense and what you'd like to see in the story. We have quite a bit of footage to work with so... sky's the limit. ANY THING AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU CAN'T OFFEND ME. We need your opinion! Thanks guys!!

http://vimeo.com/8163550

O and title help would be awesome. We've been thinking of :

'missing'
'sky turn(ed) violet'
'violet sky'
'what I'm missing'

megara...

It's 4 am and just finished a major project that's due tomorrow (tempted to just stay up......not likely). While I was taking a "break" I looked up my megara's blog. She's my friend from the Utah place of happiness where fun, family, friends and love flow freely. Call me Dorothy- there's really no place like home. But Megan has a very specific humor that's possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever been blessed to have part of my life.

http://forthebrynne.blogspot.com/2008/06/still-hate-it.html

- This is her blog.
I love you megan come back from Thailand when you're done doing the Lord's work.

One thing (of the many) that I love about megan...actually no I'm going to list a whole ton:

-always looks cute
-gorgeous and knows it.
-doesn't act like it
-always funny...hands down
-taking pictures all the time
-super spiritual
-weird
-artsy
-That one time we had major bonding in your nasty mini-van...Talking about boy drama
-once She was a shrimp for halloween - she wore a light salmony-pink uni-tard with a big pillow/hood with eyeballs on her head.
-Did I mention gorgeous
and funny
and I miss her

That's my tiny shout out to Sister Sollis. I want her back in my life ... now. :(. But I'll have to wait

Thanks

I'm so thank ful for the Lord. He sends me the right things at the right time. I'm so grateful to have known Him well enough in the past that I know I need to get to know Him again :). And I can hold on to that knowledge forever, no one can take it :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tuwid8_O8dk&feature=player_embedded

An apostle of the Lord

http://www.lds.org/broadcast/ces/0,7341,395,00.html

Excellent video from one of the Lord's apostles- Deiter F. Uchtdorf. I believe this man knows and speaks the words of God! Enjoy!

"you've gotta have a good soul. You live with yourself you know?" - Candice Brown

In response to an embarrassing story...

Today the pricker…

Every day they poke me,
Little pricks on my knee,
My thigh,
The right one,
(My left is neglected)
prick prick Hold
prick prick Hold
prick prick Hold
every so often very tiny pricks
but mostly,
prick prick Hold
Across my belly
prick prick Hold
Up my sternum
prick prick Hold
to my forehead.
prick prick Hold- prick prick prick prick prick down the middle each day while the sun shines through my window making sliding patterns from my feet to my head,
And when the sun is gone…rest

In winter they squeak
Squprieak squprieak Hold
Squprieak squprieak Hold
One line chorus of squeaky pricks
I AM DIRTY ALWAYS
In winter.
Squprieak squprieak Hold
Squprieak squprieak Hold
I AM DIRTY ALWAYS
In winter.

Each night I am licked
Licked by two prickers
Prick prick SLIDE
Prick prick SLIDE
I AM clean for rest
The sun brings Squprieak squprieak Hold
The pricks are dirty,
I am patient.

TODAY!
prick prick Hold
prick prick Hold
all day, no different
and then….and then….and then…. and then….and then…. and then…. and then….
Prick prick Hold
Prick prick- STOP
And…
One of the prickers…
and then….
One of the prickers…
and then….
One of the prickers…
AND THEN…
One of the prickers LEAKED ON ME!!!
IT LEAKED AND DRIPPED OFF THE LEDGE
ON ME!
ON MY FACE!
ICKY WET WET WET
NOT like winter
Salty sticky wet wet WET.
I did NOT get licked
I did NOT get licked
I did NOT get licked

The LEAKY PRICKER pricked very fast to the outside pocket.
prick prick prick prick prick prick prick prick prick DOWN the Middle
And then…
The other prickers jiggled.
The other prickers jiggled.
They jiggled for a moment… and sang a strange song
and then….finally…
prick prick Hold
prick prick Hold

I did not feel the leaky pricker again.
BUT i SOAKED in it’s LEAK all DAY.
With both eyes closed.
That pricker is not welcome here.


-Valerie Larsen

Horoscopes anyone...??

I'm working on something for class and I wonder if you could, not with any prior preparation, write a completely colloquial response to this question: How do zodiak signs and horoscopes affect us in our lives? What is your personal view and emot...ional response to the use of horoscopes to make decisions. it can be any length. You can say anything you want!!

TICK

Days ticking by again…
It means a lot
And means nothing
Just a number on a life
Some way to catalogue the past
The present is this moment writing
The future, a pathless open void.

A landscape un-conquered
And unburdened
A vision of idealities and fear
And trust for some of us

Dates and dates,
Innumerable yet numbered.
Hours, minutes, seconds

We can look back in our journals,
Through heads
Dream up what the dead
Left on pages of their own
And also in the ground
And in the air
And in their bodies
Through their loins
And here we are
Ticking days and counting moments
The same same same same same same same

Why do we measure
Something that will not end?
For patience?
For remembrance?
For Self-Validation?
For our children? Yes perhaps.
To be remembered?
To be helpful? So the next can do it better?....better?
Then it’s progress? Yes perhaps.
Is there an answer? Yes. I’m sure.

We just don’t know it.
We are waiting.
We need patience for waiting.
We are learning to wait,

Happily.
Our souls are validated by the
TICK
The rhythm
TICK
Is destracting from our fear.
TICK
Is an anxious heart
That teeters
Right, Left,
Right, Left
Faith, Fear
Faith, Fear
Fear,
Faith……………………..That He will come

Valerie Larsen

I'm writing a lot

I don't like school but I'm working on it

I want to be a better actress

I want to know that I'm good at things

I want to know that I'm doing the right thing

I want to share things, and be loved, and love.

I want to kiss someone...someone specific...and no I won't tell you who it is.

The point is...drive...desire to exist and create and inspire and exhale and ignite from the inside. To be.

I have things to do...so many. Gotta go

SALSA PARTY. My house. 7 o'clock. Tuesday night. Bring your favorite chips/dip and we'll have a Pinata for geoff! See you there!

I would love to be a songwriter. and everything else that has to do with art. . . I have time right? eternity is enough time to do everything we want. . . Right?

loves this website..

So I kind of like this new website- if you're wondering about the variety of Raw food this website will BLOW YOUR MIND!!!

http://www.rawfoodcrafting.com/

Checks it outs!!

Thoughts anyone? Be honest...

I get a daily email about parenting- because I like kids and knowing how to treat them I guess haha. But this is the one I got for today and I'm wondering what everyone honestly thinks. So give me your RESPONSES!

: Radical Honesty ::

Hiding the truth (from yourself and/or others) is a
constant energy drain. To free yourself from the
burden of secrets and lies, you must cultivate the
skill of radical honesty: willingness to reveal any
truth, no matter how "unacceptable" it is.

Withholding truth is such an integral part of our
culture that you probably don't notice when you're
doing it. So, for today, pay close attention to your
thoughts and expressions, and continually ask
yourself, "Am I being as honest as I could be
about that? Is there a deeper truth?"

Examples of "acceptable" dishonesty include saying
you're "fine" when you're not, and *not* saying how
you feel about the way your friend treats her child.

When you spot a white lie or withheld truth, notice
how it feels in your body -- the energy and effort
required to distort or ignore your true feelings.

Then imagine being radically honest -- telling it
exactly like it is. If you could be that honest *and*
keep your heart open, would you?

http://dailygroove.net/radical-honesty

Sometimes i wish i didn't have to sleep so i could stay awake and watch night happen. I think for my graduation present to myself i'll camp for a month..Or 2:)

Weekly review

Monday- work...wow...then amazing frizbee at FHE. My new best friend Morgan came :). She's not a member. She laughs all the time and is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen!

Tuesday- work...wow...my legs get really tired at work. Tuesday night I went to see "Julie and Julia"- new flick about food. Made me want to eat good food always. I have to admit it also made me want to be more healthy. There were a lot of shots of the characters taking tums and leaning over the bathroom sink uncomfortably. I liked yummy food, but I also like feeling yummy inside :).

Wednesday...work :) then a voice lesson where I got some good love from Marilyn. She's fabulous. She always reminds me what's important while pushing me to be better than my weaknesses. I've been struggling with practicing and being consistent. She said something that really stuck with me about the choice we make between the DISCIPLINE that it takes to practice everyday, and the REGRET or guilt we feel when we show up to a lesson poorly practiced. It reminded me of a great quote from a John Bytheway talk I heard once

"Discipline weighs ounces, while regret weighs tons."

So I'm doing much better now :)

Thursday...no work... a lot of getting things done. I went to teach with the Sisters :). My new friend Jeanne (pronounced Genie) who committed to obey all the commandments and keep the word of wisdom. woo hoo! I also tried to go to dance, got sidetracked by the T and met a really nice young man to whom I had the privilege to give a pass along card. We were talking about life and futures and he sort of asked why I wanted to get married soon and have 8 children. The dance class didn't work out so I went to yoga instead - loves. I LOVE yoga.

Friday... work again, shorter though. I practiced and stuff in the afternoon. I can't remember what I did that night and my planner shows nothing...hm. I probably just stayed home and got ready for saturday

Saturday- WALDEN POND!! We went as a ward...absolutely fabulous!! We swam, and ate and did some shakespeare magic. It was so fun. I'm really glad I finally got to see it. It's more like a lake.

Saturday night we had a baptism for Betty - she's the cutest girl. It was really wonderful. Sorry to peter out at the end of the post but I'm tired and I have to get up. That's all for now. Sunday was great- I think I might try raw food some more. The more I read and learn the less garbage I want in me. I posted a link to my facebook account for a sweet video my brother shared with me. Anyways. See you all later!! I'll be posting more little random things with my phone now :) peace and love!

Hey everyone i can post from my cell phone now. Isn't that awesome!

This week (Last week of July, the ultimate summer month... I feel a change of season is near)

What a great week, can't complain.

I worked a lot at the beginning of the week. FHE was a blast, we played outdoor games, two of my neighbors came. That was fun.

I did a lot of recording for friends projects. I was the solo vocalist for Tyson's school project, then did some background vocals for Mandi's album ("Rest Easy" - her site is under construction but soon she'll be a star!- she already is to me). That was really cool. When you all buy her album you can listen to me harmonizing on the title track :). I'm excited about being a part of these projects. It inspires me to write and work on my own album. It'll happen, I just have to believe (and work my butt off). Someday... someday.

I also left my phone at the studio (BUMMER!) and was subsequently emailing people all the time to get in contact. I got it back a couple days later only to find out the the pin pad didn't like me anymore. So I bought a new phone ($30 with a mail in rebate) ya..amazing to talk to the fam after 3 days without. They stabilize me :).

It was a good week. I learned a lot about loving yourself and enjoying the little things in the moment. I love my life, I love the Lord, I love being able to blog a lot :) and I hope I can keep it up during the school year. Love and miss you all in Utah, love and love you all in BOSTON!! yay for friends :). I will be sorrowful when this season of my life comes to a close- but for now, it's AMAZING!!!

Anxiety...

One thing I've noticed about anxiety is that, for me, it's not so much of an attack but more of a slow, seeping leak that slowly escalates. It creeps in unnoticed, starts to whisper and then increases in volume until it's finally loud enough that you can identify it for what it really is and then kick it out with firm rebuke. Sometimes it looks like things that belong, sometimes it looks like people you love, but it's never true and it's never real. Only an evil simulation of something good. Kind of like Satan. But just like him, you can dismiss it with power when you trust in reality, and truth, and ultimately in God being who He says He is. :)

The bus

I waved and screamed as he drove right by...

it was my own fault," I should have left ten minutes earlier" I grumbled as I tried to be grateful for this opportunity to grow. "I'll just walk the bus route until the next one comes" that way I'd feel like I was at least moving closer to my destination instead of sulkily getting hotter and sweatier on that 110 degree metal bench. I followed the CT2 bus stop signs like Gretl for bread crumbs, til finally the route forked and I had the similar epiphany she must have had when she and Hansel realized that bread is really attractive to the surrounding wildlife. I had lost my route

I turned "gratefully" around to head back to the last stop, and as I crossed the bridge one more time, there came the entire loaf- the CT2 crossing my bridge, and nothing I could do about it. "Luckily I have my phone! I can call Tyson and tell him I'll be late".....o right, I left it at Ryan's last night...I'm so grateful. I think I'll just sit here on the bridge and be GRATEFUL for a minute.

Needless to say I was an hour late to Tyson's house - after getting OFF at the wrong stop and having to ask a stranger to use the GPS on his phone to find walking directions (he was one of those "save the children" people=not creepy) Hahaha. I obnoxiously rang the doorbell until his roommate answered (no phone remember?) Tyson wasn't home so I played on his ginormous computer for an hour, while emailing people with iphones who could call or text Tyson to clear things up. I eventually found out he wasn't coming back home so I finished checking my email, drank some of his grape juice and left him a note ( he has since informed me I misspelled "huge nerd"- I guess he's a sucker for "hug"s now).

LONG story short: I went a long way to check my email- but I sincerely am grateful. I always pray for the bus to come so I can be on time, so this really was just someone's joking way of telling me He wants to talk more. Tyson said he will pick me up in a car tomorrow...yay. But for the record, I know EXACTLY how to get to his house now.

Unknown followers..

Do you ever have people comment on your blog that you've never met? And do you find such attention flattering, or creepy?

Auditions, Decisions, Trust and Faith :)

This week was pretty good. Started with working hard, a little Family Home evening where we played woofel ball-( a favorite childhood past time. Nothing like some good woofel ball in the back yard with my siblings. We kept losing the ball over the fence, but the neighbor kids conveniently kicked down a few boards to solve that problem. I'm sure we helped in that endeavor but I don't specifically remember that. But it was a well established pathway. Eventually our mothers gave into the idea and consented to concrete slabs by the hole that gave it legitimacy as entrance- good times, good memories).

In the middle of the week I got an audition at A.R.T. for a 70s disco show called The Donkey Show. A.R.T. is kind of a big deal and the director has an amazing resume so I was way excited. I was supposed to go to New York right after with some friends from the ward. But while auditioning they liked me enough to all but beg me not to go (awesome right???). I consented to stay, planning to catch a bus to New York the next day and meet up with friends then. As I thought about the show and everything I had learned about it, I knew it wasn't an appropriate choice for me. It was scantily costumed, the content was centered and drugs and other badness, and I thought I might pull out of the callback. But after some thought and prayer, I felt good about at least being seen by Diane Paulus, the Tony- award- winning artistic director (right? check out her resume she's amazing. She brought her little girls to the call back too- ADORABLE)

So I went the next day, and it went really really well. They were auditioning me as a swing, so I basically got to showcase a lot of work for them. I sang, I danced a lot, and they had me improv A LOT which was really fun. I enjoyed the callback immensely. I also got to meet and catch up with a lot of great performers from the area, which was fun. Afterwards there was an interview. This was the nerve racking part, I needed to tell them I couldn't do it for moral reasons, which I hoped they would understand.

So in the interview Allegra (assistant Director) told me more about the show, and all the new info confirmed my feelings that it wasn't the right thing for me. And when I finally told her about being conservative and not being comfortable with some of these things, she reacted so well. She said it didn't mess up future opportunities, it was great that I knew my world, they were sad to lose me in the production (not that they were necessarily offering me anything but still). In short she was very complimentary and said future opportunities would be great for me.

I went that night to the production they were showing of Aurelia's Oratorio- which was SO GOOD. It was clever and witty and fabulous. I would recommend it to anyone. It was also totally clean which was a great contrast to the audition I'd just come from. :). I got to see a lot of wholesome entertainment this week, which always buoys me up.

So I left feeling great about it. And I have to give credit to the Lord. I was going to chicken out and go to New York, but He helped me feel good about at least going to the callback. Who knows what will happen now, but I'm really grateful for His help this week, with EVERYTHING. I'm so blessed with love, family, friends, an amazing body that is somehow full of talent that I don't deserve. I love Him for His gifts. He is good and great!

BEACH BOYS, cooking and relationships

Tonight I heard the Beach Boys play totally live in person. It was awesome. The night was perfect too. Perfect temperature, nice little breeze, I was chillin with my sweet neighbors from Apt. 25 next door- they're so funny and amazing. After the concert we all walked back by the river, then Alex gave me a lime so I wouldn't have to buy one. Which was really nice of her and makes us better friends now.

Tomorrow there's a potluck after church I'm taking potato wedges to :). I found a recipe online for pepper lime pototato wedges, supposedly it's the way they do potatoes in New Zealand...cool right? I'm gonna give it a try. I really like the website I got it off of. It's a blog where the girl writes about her life experiences and includes a cool healthy recipe at the end of each post. Then she has all the recipes catalogued by name or ingredient on the side. She's also a fabulous photographer, so all the stuff she does looks amazing, and all the food she cooks looks even better. But what I really like about it is she talks about living experiences. Moments w/people, doing things that bring them closer together. That's what it's all about.

I was inspired by it. So instead of going grocery shopping tonight, I went to the Beach Boys with my neighbors. Because Relationships are what matter. Relationships are the reason we do everything else that we do. LIke work for example- we work to make money, so we can support our families, so we can all stay alive and be together. Life is about BEING TOGETHER. And that's what I learned today. :). I sure love life. It's wonderful.

O here's the link to that blog I told you about:

http://www.101cookbooks.com/about/


And the recipe for the Potatoes ;)-

Black Pepper and Lime Oven Fries

1 1/2 pounds small potatoes, cut into wedges
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
sea salt
freshly ground pepper
1 lime
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, grated

Preheat oven to 375, oven racks in the middle.

In a medium bowl toss the potato wedges with the olive oil, a few big pinches of sea salt and five or six cranks of the pepper grinder. Arrange the potatoes cut side down on a baking sheet. Place in the oven for 30-35 minutes, tossing the potatoes with a metal spatula half way through.

While the potatoes are baking, zest the lime and cut it into a few wedges.

When the potatoes are cooked through, remove them from the oven, taste, and adjust the seasoning. Add more salt and pepper to taste (don't skimp on the pepper!). Serve in a big shallow bowl, or on a platter, drizzled with lime juice and dusted with the lime zest and Parmesan.

Serves 4 - 6.

not vegan, not vegetarian, NOT RAW...

So I've recently been trying out several different diets as you can see by the post title, and I've officially decided today that I do not want to be vegan, I do not want to be vegetarian, and I do not want to be Raw. I think all of these diets are good things for the right people, and I support animal rights, but my gassy stomach says "this is unbalanced- you need balance". So without blaming vegan, vegetarian or rawness for my unbalance I fondly bid all of them farewell (for now). Maybe later my body will like them better.

I'm going shopping right NOW.

and I"m getting some cooked bread, real cheese, some tuna, and a cake mix. Ta ta!

voting with out telling...

gasp* who else voted on my poll???

Sorry Grateful

So this week...has been...crazy. There's this great song from the musical "Company" called "sorry/grateful". In the musical that phrase is talking about the decision to get married, but thats not really what I'm talking about. Hopefully when I get married I'll have dated so many sorries that there will only be room for grateful- but what do I know, I'm the ultimate short -relationship-still-single QUEEN.

Anyway, that's how I'm feeling today. Sorry grateful. Something really really exciting suddenly fell through. My initial reaction was "what?!" which glided into "I knew it!" which became "I can live with that" on to "wow, I feel free again" and finally "this is absolutely right- I feel good about this." Isn't that something. You can be totally floored and totally at peace at the same time.

I've learned this week that we are very complicated things. We have all these separate systems that are made up of smaller separate systems and down and down. And when the systems mess with each other, or one of them doesn't work right, all the other ones have to be really on top of their game to keep up and keep us from geting all muddy, messy and lost. I'm sorry that cleaning up messes is hard to do, but I'm grateful for messes, and the growth that comes from cleaning them up.

I think the positive approach will be best. To be patient and have fun and not worry. Easy to write, hard to do. But that's why it's worth it. It wouldn't be growing if it weren't hard. thanks everyone for being there ALWAYS!! I have amazing people in my life. Special thanks to Creed, Ben, Rachel, Daddy and Heavenly Father and my Savior. Somehow they get me through it all. :). Mostly by sending me the perfect person at the perfect time. :) It's great.

A thought for today :)

No matter your circumstances fill your life with things you love.

Donut

"Dad, I tend to do a lot better when I can have a donut"

-Mary Peggy Thompson (4 yrs. old)

Organized religion and Spirituality

Today on the train, after a long AMAZING picnic at a Professor's house, some classmates and I started talking a little bit about spirituality and the cons of organized religion. I had to get off before the conversation had finished :( and I wanted to put a couple of thoughts out there to the world about the God that I have come to know and love, both in my individual pursuits in spiritual progression, and also in my understanding of the pros and cons of organized religion, and how the two coincide and benefit each other. In expressing these ideas, beliefs and opinions it is not my intention to disregard anyone else's thoughts or opinions, but merely to clarify my own.

First, spirituality. I don't know what the word means in terms of the conversation I mentioned earlier- I think it means a lot of things to a lot of people. For this note I've interpreted it to mean having a living relationship with something or someone greater than yourself, and continually striving to strengthen that relationship and become ONE with that greater thing. In my case that means building a strong, living relationship with God, my literal Heavenly Father, and by striving to become more like Him become one with Him.

Second, Organized religion. There are many arguments that come against organized religion. I don't want to discount any of them or argue them- I'll never "win" nor is that my objective. In fact I have some problems with organized religion myself. So how is it that I devoutly attend church each week, pay a tithe (10% of my earnings), teach sunday school, go to scripture study classes etc etc etc? I'll tell you some reasons:

1- I know for myself through hours of study and prayer and a spiritual witness from the Holy Ghost in my mind and heart that God is my Heavenly Father, and that He sent His Son to suffer every pain and affliction I feel, give me peace and help whenever I ask for it (anytime, everytime), and to enable me to return to live with my Father someday. I don't obey God out of fear, I obey Him out of love for Him and a sincere desire to live with Him again.

2-I know for myself...that Christ's teachings are truth, and that they bring happiness, and He ORGANIZED a group of twelve men to teach of His Father and to come unto Christ that they may be brought unto the eternal well of LOVE that He can offer.

3- I know for myself... that that organization was lost for hundreds of years- the fundamentals were shifted, re-organized a million different ways by men, so that they became a thing of men and no longer of God. But I also know that when the world was ready a loving Heavenly Father restored that organization to a Prophet, Joseph Smith, in the early 1800s, and through instruction from Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ organized the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The principles of the organization are perfect, though the men and women striving to uphold those principles are far from perfect.

My connection between spirituality and organized religion thus follows: because every spiritual truth I have gained testifies of a God who loves me infinitely, I am fully convicted in doing what He asks of me. Organized religion in my life has brought me greater opportunities to be taught of Him, and take those teachings to my knees and find out...for myself...if what I have been taught is truth. I am taught through a prophet, through scripture, through sunday school teachers, through discussions with close friends. I am also taught by professors, classmates, textbooks, THEATER, my family, good books, and countless other things. What COUNTS is that I don't have to take anyone else's word for it. I can ask God, and if I have faith that He'll answer, He will. Everything I question comes from everything. Everything I know, without doubt, has been confirmed by God.

In closing, I'd say that spirituality comes first, and organized religion serves to increase and magnify it. If you are converted to a culture, you will not be fulfilled. If you are converted to true principles, you will be led to fulfillment. I testify to all of you seeking that as you continue seek with a firm faith that you will find truth, you WILL FIND IT. I testify that God loves you no matter what. There is NOTHING you could EVER DO that would stop Him from trying to be a part of your life. He will never force His way in, He respects your choices, but He's always waiting at the door if you want to let Him in.

Thanks for reading the whole thing. I love listening and talking any ideas on religion or spirituality or atheism or whatever. I'd love to hear anyone else's personal experience, good or bad. Share your thoughts! Love you all!!

-Val

the dailies

Amazing thing #1: I saw a woodpecker today.

Amazing thing #2: I HEARD him FIRST!

Amazing thing #3: He was in a tree on MY street.

Most amazing: I might see him/hear him again TOMORROW!

No endings...

I'm listening to Colors right now..(hehe so great!!) and thinking about my friends from high school and how much I love them and miss them and miss being able to drive to their houses and be with them whenever I wanted. And someday I'll feel the same way about my friends here in Boston. But (as I looked nostalgically out my city window) I know that life is eternal and that we're all brothers and sisters. And really, there's no such thing as goodbye forever. Even the people we have huge falling outs or break ups or it's just not right for us to be friends right now- SOMEDAY all that will smooth itself out and we'll all be perfectly loving and happy and have the capacity to be infinitely close to an infinite amount of spirits- and this is the phrase that comes to mind:

There are no beginnings and no ends- only seasons.

I had a season of high school friends, I have a season of Boston friends, I'll have seasons for the rest of my life... and when this one's over I'll have more. And every spirit matters, and someday I'll be able to combine those "seasons of love" and that's why it's called heaven. Relationships are the most important and joyous thing we have- sigh. I love you.

Funny pictures

I found this fabulous picture in my iphoto. I've never been there for any of my nieces or nephews births, and my family always sends me pictures. This is the only picture they sent me when my last niece Kinzley was born a little over a year ago. I love Eric's face and how scowly Kinzley is hahaha. I love you guys a million billion zillion!

Keep it up!

SO I took some pictures of my laptop a while ago, with every intention blogging this story.

When I got back to school after Christmas break, I was on my way out of a slump that I'd been going through the semester before. Not just any slump- a really tuffy. Anyway, one day I was feeling particularly discouraged and I was on my computer and I shut it really quickly to go do some other things. And when I shut it I looked down at the colored stickers on the back



The stickers were put there by my niece, Sarah, while I was home for Christmas (She's inappropriately cute)




As I looked at the stickers I got so happy! One in particular stuck out to me




I felt so loved and all the things I was worrying about seemed so stupid and petty. I'm so grateful for family. I'm going to miss them this summer :(. But they are always in my heart. And I know that Heavenly Father sends us children to remind us what is important, and that He loves us and wants us to Keep Doing Our Best, and to enjoy every minute of life. Everything is going to work out- because He's in charge. Sigh* what a relief.

Always...

Never let your education of something stop you from actually doing it.

Never let the knowledge that someone else could do it better stop you from creating.

Never let someone's opinion of your work stop you from trying again.

Never give Satan a vote for your self esteem.

Never forget to give God the credit He deserves.

Never be less than what know you are.

Always do your best, no matter what.

So i think it's art....

The question remains, whether or not you think it's good or means anything to you. What do YOU think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayPw-Ytr1Ys

Copy and paste that link and try to be patient with this video. Instead of discarding it as crap before the first two minutes are over, see if you can find anything meaningful in it. Post your response- no matter what it is ;). I'm excited

College student OCD.

I was thinking about thinking
And how things fit
And how we all accomplish "it"
And "it" is so important that the thinking happens first
and then I make a plan for when and where
and cast on "it" quite scheduled care
And think about the thought out plan

And when the time comes to execute
I'm all thought out and frankly, pooped.
I have a whole new "it" in mind,
I'm thinking of and making time
to get "it" in the other "its"
and making sure that each "it" fits.
Each colored bubble has it's time
and place
and shade
and journal,
thank you note,
parade!
Then finally when my planning's done
I've missed the "its"
Every single one.
Which gets me thinking...


...help

beautiful poem I found :)

I was going through an old journal of mine and I found this awesome poem I wrote this summer. It's a gem about waiting for the sweetest dream you've ever had and the joy and pain of waiting for that dream. Hope you enjoy!

Come Sweet Dream-

Come sweet Dream,
I wait I grow,
For you sweet Dream.
The seasons flow and time is slow
To bring me close to you
To life,
To love,
And so I wait in pregnant patience.
Come sweet dream

Arrive flowing stream.
Arrive! Arrive!!
At what?
To what end do you run?
At every finish you have begun.
You have all the time you will ever need
To learn to wait.
Patience little stream

Wait,
Wait my friend.
I’m not ready for the slow ascend
To dependence on two instead of one.
The climb is potential fall.
After all,
A vantage so small would not extend
Beyond its immediate fate.
Wait. Wait.

Come sweet dream.
I trust,
I know.
You come, though slow.
You come

Valerie Larsen, 7/2/08

Fast Sunday and my testimony :)

Happy Sabbath!
I love Sundays. Especially FAST SUNDAY! I love fasting for many many reasons. First, that you have a constant reminder all day of the fact that you are sacrificing something for the Lord. Second, that hunger feeling helps you to remember the specific thing that you've decided to fast for. Third, it's reminder of both those things that helps you to recognize other things in your life that you'd like to change. Fourth, it brings unity to all church members- we all have a shared experience of giving something up to the Lord together. Fifth, the fast offering not only brings you promised blessings of joy in helping others, but also brings sustenance to those in need. What a wonderful gift of service. And sixth- probably my favorite- you have the opportunity to hear and bear testimony. What a blessing to have the opportunity to profess those things nearest and dearest to each of our hearts once a month.

Being that today is fast sunday I'd like to bear my testimony to all who read this blog:

I know that God is real. That he's is my Father. That He loves me and each and every one of us perfectly. That He does not compare us to one another nor base His love for us on anything we do or say, but rather our actions determine whether or not we can FEEL that love. His arms are always always always always open to us. I know that He keeps His promises, and that when we keep our promises to Him He will bless us one hundred fold.

I know that Satan is real. That everything he ever does, says, or offers to us is a lie and will ONLY BRING US SORROW. His promises are twisted, warped versions of the real thing, "shortcuts" to nowhere. He is cunning and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. We must be watching always and doing all we can to live in the light, that his darkness may not over take us- for darkness is only the absence of light and has no power over it.

I know that Christ lives. That His light is brighter and more powerful than any other force. Through Him, and ONLY through Him can we return to live with our Heavenly Father someday. yay!! What a glorious opportunity. I know He suffered for my sins, my pains, my heartache, my loss and that He knows them perfectly. I know that He also knows my joys, my achievements, my moments of peace (granted by Him), and my longings fulfilled. In my gamut of experience He has experienced all and beyond, that He may be a part of each MOMENT of my life, as I choose to let Him in. He knows all things and is one with the Father. He has overcome the drudgery that life can be, the day to day messes that we so often feel, the temptations to mediocrity, the specific weaknesses that you and I fight to get past- He is already past, and stands on the other side offering His hand and lifeline that you and I can overcome also, to be with Him. He is my best friend. I need to make more room for Him always.

I know that His church is restored to the earth. That through revelation given to a prophet of God we may know and follow His will. And know that through the ordinances He has given us we may be made clean and commit to His work, recieve the Holy Ghost to be our companion, recieve the blessings of God's power on earth-the priesthood, recieve the blessings of the endowment, and be sealed to our loved ones, not just for this life, but for eternity (imagine Christmas break with the people you love most in your life, having a blast- FOR ETERNITY!!! sign me up). I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that we can get closer to Christ by reading it than any other book.

I know all these things by the spirit. After many hours of study, fasting and prayer I gained this knowledge- not because I earned it, not because I deserved it and not because I've done anything that makes me "more righteous" than anyone else. But because Heavenly Father has enough mercy, love and grace to GIVE it to me, as a gift of the spirit, as a burning in my bosom, as pure light to my mind, as a peace and comfort in heart and all consciousness. I know that I know it, and I know that God knows of my knowledge. I am accountable to share these things, and blessed to share these things. I pray that as I open my mouth that He may fill it, and that He will use me as an instrument in the blessing, loving and of bringing joy and happiness to others.

With love and affection for you all, I bear this testimony and stand as a witness of the truthfulness of these things, in and through the Holy Name of my Savior Jesus Christ, amen.


For more information on any of the things I've talked about, email me at lavie49@hotmail.com, or visit this website for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints- www.mormon.org

Love and kisses,
Have an amazing day!!

BROADWAY!!

I totally tried out for Broadway today and the lady totally had me stay after and sing an extra song....AAAAHAHAHAHA!! It was amazing. I have to go to bed so I can't write anymore. But this is a momentous day-

Val's first B-way audition.....wow!!

xoxox- love you all!

Funnies for the week

EVERY WEEK without fail my Uncle Tim sends me an email full of funny jokes. I always appreciate the laughter that he brings to everyone's life, not just my own. I figure that ALL of you can benefit too, so granted that these are not my own research, I still thought I'd copy and paste the love. Enjoy!


The new Treasury Secretary nominee, Timothy Geithner, has come up with a plan to lower taxes. Don’t pay them! – Jay Leno


Last night, Larry King interviewed President Bush, and Bush told him, "My favorite color is blue and I love enchiladas." Unfortunately, Bush was answering the question, "What was your greatest achievement as President?" – Conan


Paris Hilton has bought a pink customized Bentley based on the Barbie dream car she played with as a girl. She said she always wanted to be like Barbie when she grew up. How embarrassing ... for Barbie. – Jay


Because of the bad U.S. economy, many Broadway producers have started taking their musicals to China. In a related story, the entire cast of "Cats" has been eaten. – Conan

Happy Laughter

The Greatest Principle...

While pondering the beauties of the gospel one day, recently, I was thinking about missionary work and how great it would be if everyone you knew just walked up and asked you "what's the most important thing you ever learned. If you had one last life lesson to share with the world what would it be?" because then you could just tell them how great Christ is. And then I thought, "wow, what a great thing to ask people who are TOTALLY different from you." So I decided that would be my soul searcher for the semester. But even though it's something they'd say to the world I'm paraphrasing so I'll keep it anonoymous- with initials so I can at least remember. Here's the first two so far

C. J. A. 1/16/09:

I've come to realize something about people, and I first noticed it on my mission. That people, wherever they are in their progression, have infinite potential to go in a good direction, and infinite potential to go in a bad direction. It is amazing how far, and how quickly one person can progress when they humbly seek the direction of Heavenly Father.

M. W. 1/17/09

I would want everyone to know that Jesus Christ IS who He SAYS He is. And that He can and does do everything He says He can. I think that's the most important thing really.


Isn't that cool! I feel like it's a great way to open up a deep conversation and get to know what it is that really matters to a person. What's the greatest thing YOU'VE ever learned- what would you share with the whole world if you had the chance?

Record

Tonight I recorded four songs- eek! I'm not going to put them up or anything because Adam still needs to mix them and everything. But its great to finally have some of these DOWN!
Songs recorded:

-The Mountain ... :S (not my best performance)
-Plaster man
-Travelin' Salesman
-Not So Bad

woo hoo!!! It's a big day!

Tag

Neal Tagged me with this on face book a while ago and I just happen to feel like doing it now so...here goes.
16 interesting facts about me. Then I tag 16 people. If you're tagged then you have to tag the person who tagged you because the whole point is that you both want to know more about each other.

1- I have a secret desire to dread my hair and get way into extreme sports and kick boxing. I would also pierce my nose and stop shaving my legs and armpits...just cuz it's cool and earthy. Hard Core granola.

2-When I was about 7 or 8 I was playing at my neighbor Carol's house. While we were in her big sister's room I turned my head, picked my nose and ate it (I was 7!). Her older sister clearly saw what I was doing despite my nonchalant effort to hide an action that I knew everyone else did. She proceeded to taunt me with my first nick name: Booger Queen. Now I'd like to say that it was all a very funny joke and that it didn't spread to all the neighborhood children- but alas that is not the case. I'm a very confident person but I still get upset about that if anyone brings it up.

3-When I was in 8th grade I read a self help book by Steven R. Covey that LITERALLY changed my entire life. I would not be a happy person were it not for his help. 7 habits- I still read it from time to time when I get confused about why my life is out of balance.

4-I play the Harp. Not everyone knows that. I started some 13 years ago...:O. That's a lot I'm getting old. I really love it though. I miss it when I'm at school and I get blisters when I come home cuz I'll play for hours at a time and then have to wait a while to play again cuz my fingers hurt.

5- I have OCD- very mild but it's true. I've never talked to a therapist about it though because all my siblings have it too and there counsel has sufficed so far. I love them so much :).

6-I really really struggle with organization and punctuality and am very sensitive to criticism in either of these areas. But I don't make excuses for myself. I can accept the responsibility for being late for no good reason. Or for totally forgetting we had an assignment due (AHHHH!). Although I have made progress over the years it's hard to talk about (steer clear from this subject if you want to avoid making me cry....jk....but really).

7-I love John Mayer. He's just awesome. I love his lyrics more than his music, though I do love his music as well. But the WORDS are incredible. He has a way of capturing the universal part of an experience so when you hear the lyric you think "ya! That's exactly how I feel about it, but I just didn't have the words." I also love him because he's a poet and artsy without being unreachable. Meaning: he's not so artsy fartsy that you have to sit and dissect his lyrics for hours only to find that you can remotely relate them to one feeling you had in a really odd situation kind of...not that that kind of music doesn't have its place in a playlist you never listen to...but I prefer things that resonate more fully.

8-I also really love star wars. It spawned from my brothers loving it. When we were little they would watch them over and over several times a day. At the time I resented the fact that i didn't have any authority to watch Thomasina instead, but after time I grew to absolutely LOVE it because it was connected to what it felt like for Valerie to be a kid. I know a lot about it - not everything but a lot.

9- Sometimes I use my knowledge of star wars on dates to let the guy know that I'm "cool".... hahaha.

10-My first boyfriend was a fellow ninth grader from the other Jr. High in my district. He was the infamous druggy. Before you all get worried for my ninth grade self I'll have you know that we only saw each other in person 3 times. We held hands on the second in-person-encounter. All other communication was done on instant messenger and over the phone.

11-I have a stuffed animal Curious George that I sleep with when I'm particularly cuddly or upset. I love that little guy. What's funny is that I never slept with him when I was little. I played with him all growing up but I didn't go to him for comfort until I was 15 or 16. Funny how the things that weren't a big deal to us when we were little become a big deal when we start wishing we were little again.

12-I'm very very competitive- I'm also working on it.

13- My favorite picture in the whole world is one of me and my dad. I'm about 4 years old and I'm wearing a white ruffly shirt and a dark green plaid jumper, white tights and black patten leather church shoes. My dad is wearing a shirt and tie, he's really thin and has a mustache. I'm sitting on his ginormous drawing desk that slants at about a 45 degree angle. I'm facing him. He's sitting in the stool facing me. I'm looking very intently at a calculator in his hands as he shows it to me for the first time. Of course he explained it pretty thoroughly but all that registered was, "o, you press buttons and the numbers change.......COOL!" It's a really cute picture. I guess my mom must have taken it- I've never thought about that before.

14-When I was 3 I used to curl up on the bathroom floor while my mom showered. It's a carpetted bathroom, and my mom would lay a towel down by the shower door before she got in so she wouldn't soak the carpet when she got out. So it was soft to lay on, and the shower made the room warm, and I knew my mommy was there. Sometimes when I'm home and I'm really tired or just want to be comforted I'll lay a towel on the bathroom floor and turn the shower on and just lay there. I should tell my mom that.

15-My first year away from home was the most difficult year OF MY LIFE. I would not change it, but I would not ever ever ever do it again.

16-Someday when I'm rich and famous (gag me) I'm going to open a venue and name it "Val's" (original right?). It will have a huge stage, a huge dance floor, and a HUGE staircase at the other end that leads to the second floor that wraps around as a balcony looking down on the dance floor. This balcony will be restaurant. I'll have concerts on week nights and a swing/ latin dancing band on the weekends. There will be also be a floor show specifically designed to give performers work while they're in between other shows. On the floor above they'll be a jazz lounge called "the loft" and we'll serve incredible non-alcoholic beverages. We'll have a black box theater in the basement and an out door stage and dance floor to showcase local talent. I'll perform sometimes but mostly get to know people who come. My incredibly hansome and supportive husband will help me run the business and we'll grow old running the most loving and welcoming venue in the country. We will not be open on Sunday, except to broadcast firesides and general conference for the local Latter Day Saints, missionaries and investigators ;).

Tag-
Kelly Brown
Ellen Larsen
Lindsey Irion
Lauren Wood
Sharesa Larsen
Lauren Rule
Julie Stoddard
Kendra Larsen
Adam Ruben
Ryan Holdaway
John Mayer (he he)
Julia Childs
Uncle Tim Brown
Dani Talbot
Neal Cook
Elizabeth Larsen
Amanda Malyar

Kung Fu Panda..

....Is amazingly funny and surprisingly inspiring. I watched it tonight for the first time and I'm definitely a fan :).

A new year, a new semester- yessssssss

To all my friends:
Thank you for being so fabulous and so much fun. I've seen so many people over this break that I absolutely missed to pieces ( I even rekindled a little crush, but don't ask). I got to talk to dear friends from school and work that I'm not with right now but who influence me for the better no matter where they are. Thanks for being there and loving me.


To my class mates:
I love you all. We are so different, I don't understand you and I'm sure there's a lot about me that raises your eyebrow. But whatever else happens know that I love you and I pray to be able to relate to you even through our differences and shortcomings. I'm trying so hard to show you that I care. Please don't be afraid of me, forgive me and give me the benefit of the doubt whenever possible- I'm a mess most of the time.

To my teachers:
I promise to be better, to not judge my class mates or myself, to be honest about my limitations, and soft spoken in my disagreement. Know that I love the art for the fulfillment and enlightenment it can bring to its audience and that my goal is to bring light and knowledge, not to discourage and defame. I am convicted in the things I will and will not do and do not draw those lines lightly or without hours of meditation, study and prayer. I love each of you for the effort that you have put in to all your students, that you have put in to me. I'm sorry for being a sass this semester- I'll be better.

To my family:
Wow. I sure owe you guys one. In every way. You keep me in check, you love me always, you put up and even have grown to love my weirdness. You let me stay at your house whenever I feel like it, make amazing picture slideshows that make me love life more than I could say, ask me for advice just so I'll feel smart, love my nieces and nephews, pay for my school, give me kisses and I love yous and big 'ol hugs. You help me see that the gospel is where it's at and remind me that I know of it's truth way down in my soul, to a degree that I cannot ever deny it. And you need me too, which is wonderful.

wow- that's a lot to think about. Sorry that sounds so serious. I get carried away but I'm really excited for a new beginning. I've had a great semester but I know this one will be even greater!! I'm so excited!! yay. Here's to a happy new year! Good luck with all your resolutions!!