Monday, August 10, 2009

Thoughts anyone? Be honest...

I get a daily email about parenting- because I like kids and knowing how to treat them I guess haha. But this is the one I got for today and I'm wondering what everyone honestly thinks. So give me your RESPONSES!

: Radical Honesty ::

Hiding the truth (from yourself and/or others) is a
constant energy drain. To free yourself from the
burden of secrets and lies, you must cultivate the
skill of radical honesty: willingness to reveal any
truth, no matter how "unacceptable" it is.

Withholding truth is such an integral part of our
culture that you probably don't notice when you're
doing it. So, for today, pay close attention to your
thoughts and expressions, and continually ask
yourself, "Am I being as honest as I could be
about that? Is there a deeper truth?"

Examples of "acceptable" dishonesty include saying
you're "fine" when you're not, and *not* saying how
you feel about the way your friend treats her child.

When you spot a white lie or withheld truth, notice
how it feels in your body -- the energy and effort
required to distort or ignore your true feelings.

Then imagine being radically honest -- telling it
exactly like it is. If you could be that honest *and*
keep your heart open, would you?

http://dailygroove.net/radical-honesty

2 comments:

Kelly Jean said...

Mmm... I don't fully agree with that. I'm all about honesty, but there are certain instances where everything a person's thinking & feeling SHOULDN'T be said aloud. It's not that someone's being dishonest when they refrain from expounding on how they're feeling (in detail)... there's just a time and a place.

Or - telling your kids there's a Santa Claus could be considered "lying"... but being honest about it would destroy the magic of it.

As far as telling someone how to raise their kids, I'm not for that either. Different folks, different strokes. I think it's okay to tell why you do what YOU do... but telling a person you disapprove of how they're raising their kids (unless it's abusive or something) is just not really anyone's place. Live and let live.... that's how I see it.

However, I wouldn't encourage flat-out lying to others. I'd like to think I'm an honest person, even if I don't tell everyone when I'm having a "bad day"... So yeah. I don't really agree with that philosophy, but interesting insight. :)

(My apologies for the mega-long response.)

vallarsen49 said...

Hey no need to apologize! Long responses mean you really thought about it.

I heard a really cool thing about Santa Clause one time that I think I agree with. Well it's sort of two things. One was that kids can have just as much fun playing the game of Santa Clause WITH you. Kind of like being in on the inside joke. That was one philosophy that seemed sort of appealing because, let's face it... weren't you royally bummed out when you found out? I don't know though... I'm still in process with that one. There's also the whole element of trust to consider (which goes along with the philosophy that you should never sneak away from your kids when the babysitter's there. You should tell them you're going and that you're coming back, so when you DO come back they know they can believe you when you say that and they're not always on the edge of wondering if you're going to suddenly disappear when strangers come to play with them- i digress).

The other really cool story I heard was a Dad handling the tooth fairy situation. One of the kids 'figured it out' and what was so admirable about it was that instead of pushing the fantasy he was honest with his son about the parents' role in pillow money. He encouraged the son to keep up the charade for the little ones, and then took the opportunity to explain that the though the tooth fairy may not be real, and Santa is really sneaking in from down the hall- the Savior IS real, not a tradition we hold up for fun.

Any way- I agree with your comments Kell. Good call :)