Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sorry Grateful
So this week...has been...crazy. There's this great song from the musical "Company" called "sorry/grateful". In the musical that phrase is talking about the decision to get married, but thats not really what I'm talking about. Hopefully when I get married I'll have dated so many sorries that there will only be room for grateful- but what do I know, I'm the ultimate short -relationship-still-single QUEEN.
Anyway, that's how I'm feeling today. Sorry grateful. Something really really exciting suddenly fell through. My initial reaction was "what?!" which glided into "I knew it!" which became "I can live with that" on to "wow, I feel free again" and finally "this is absolutely right- I feel good about this." Isn't that something. You can be totally floored and totally at peace at the same time.
I've learned this week that we are very complicated things. We have all these separate systems that are made up of smaller separate systems and down and down. And when the systems mess with each other, or one of them doesn't work right, all the other ones have to be really on top of their game to keep up and keep us from geting all muddy, messy and lost. I'm sorry that cleaning up messes is hard to do, but I'm grateful for messes, and the growth that comes from cleaning them up.
I think the positive approach will be best. To be patient and have fun and not worry. Easy to write, hard to do. But that's why it's worth it. It wouldn't be growing if it weren't hard. thanks everyone for being there ALWAYS!! I have amazing people in my life. Special thanks to Creed, Ben, Rachel, Daddy and Heavenly Father and my Savior. Somehow they get me through it all. :). Mostly by sending me the perfect person at the perfect time. :) It's great.
Anyway, that's how I'm feeling today. Sorry grateful. Something really really exciting suddenly fell through. My initial reaction was "what?!" which glided into "I knew it!" which became "I can live with that" on to "wow, I feel free again" and finally "this is absolutely right- I feel good about this." Isn't that something. You can be totally floored and totally at peace at the same time.
I've learned this week that we are very complicated things. We have all these separate systems that are made up of smaller separate systems and down and down. And when the systems mess with each other, or one of them doesn't work right, all the other ones have to be really on top of their game to keep up and keep us from geting all muddy, messy and lost. I'm sorry that cleaning up messes is hard to do, but I'm grateful for messes, and the growth that comes from cleaning them up.
I think the positive approach will be best. To be patient and have fun and not worry. Easy to write, hard to do. But that's why it's worth it. It wouldn't be growing if it weren't hard. thanks everyone for being there ALWAYS!! I have amazing people in my life. Special thanks to Creed, Ben, Rachel, Daddy and Heavenly Father and my Savior. Somehow they get me through it all. :). Mostly by sending me the perfect person at the perfect time. :) It's great.
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