Roadenedbay Orizonshay

There's something so awesome/stinky about getting into something that pushes you.  

I love my major and my crazy amazing school.  I'm studying stuff that I'm generally good at and pick up fairly easily so as far as classroom behavior goes, I'm generally confident and a full participating student.  So I'm going along in my classes- do do do, singing life away, and then I think "hm, I should try something different - THAT would be a really cool class, I should TRY it!"  So once a week I go and sit in a classroom of composers (not my major) and try to grasp  concepts that I've barely heard about much less used myself.  My class mates, in their casual dress shirts, khakis and sneakers artistically ask questions that refer to genres of music I've never heard of, composers I've never listened to, and instruments I didn't know existed. Then my teacher proceeds to answer with the phrase "EVery body KNOWS..." and then continues speaking in what seems to me to be fluent ancient Mayan....ok I'm exaggerating....it's more like an elementary piglatin. I listen, take notes, devour my textbook like a starving hyena and pray that somehow I'll have the guts to ask a question. Thankfully I passed my first semester... by an inch, BUT it is a wonderful experience and I will never regret stepping outside of the box A LITTLE. Maybe next time I step out I can find out what ancient Maya really sounds like and why my proffessor keeps calling me Alerievay.  :S

Rude?

Have you ever been called rude? Just straight up had someone say 'you're rude' or 'that was rude. And not like joking but looking you right in the eye and give you the bad news.  That happened tonight and the saddest thing about it is I can't think about this situation and say to myself-" that's not true, you didn't do anything wrong, they're just offended and it's not your fault. "  But I really had to think about it hard and try to determine whether or not I really had done something truly dishonest, or hurtful, or dangerous.  Perhaps inconsiderate-but only out of scattered schedules, too many balls to juggle, and a last minute decision of what's probably best for me.     

I also consider at the same time, what good does it do for them to say that? What good does it do any of us to throw out a hurtful term, even if it may be true? What's that lyric "words can hurt you, if you let them.  People say them and forget them." Those words stick with me, thrown out so easily by another. It's likely that she will forget those much sooner than I ever will.  I suppose I'm learning- reassessing my own actions and wondering: how can I do this better? how can I avoid fulfilling the title newly placed upon me? How can I be clean of it forever? And how can I right the situation without choosing a different option that's ultimately not what I really want or think is best? What does the Lord want me to do? 

I know this is all kind of vague, and not something that anyone can give specific advice for... but if you have any thoughts, I'd be happy to hear them.  :) 

Mooch

SO my roommates always make fun of me for coming home with random leftover food from social functions.  And I was thinking about it and I've decided that that is just DUMB (ben, ell....DUMB). Being a poor college student definitely has its ups and downs and I, personally, consider free food to be an UP, thank you very much.  I mean if it's leftover, no one's gonna eat it, they'll probably have to throw it away OR take it home to their family that doesn't NEED it as much as I do.  After all, families are together and I'm all alone, which gives me slight depression WHICH, as we all know, leads people to eat.  Not that I over eat- I don't.  But clearly this food goes to it's greatest benefit by being packaged up in tupperware and lovingly placed in my section of the refrigerator, rather than a landfill that emits toxic gases and ultimately contributes to global warming...sort of.  So get off my back roommates! I'm not a mooch, I'm just efficient. 

Mooch

SO my roommates always make fun of me for coming home with random leftover food from social functions.  And I was thinking about it and I've decided that that is just DUMB (ben, ell....DUMB). Being a poor college student definitely has its ups and downs and I, personally, consider free food to be an UP, thank you very much.  I mean if it's leftover, no one's gonna eat it, they'll probably have to throw it away OR take it home to their family that doesn't NEED it as much as I do.  After all, families are together and I'm all alone, which gives me slight depression WHICH, as we all know, leads people to eat.  Not that I over eat- I don't.  But clearly this food goes to it's greatest benefit by being packaged up in tupperware and lovingly placed in my section of the refrigerator, rather than a landfill that emits toxic gases and ultimately contributes to global warming...sort of.  So get off my back roommates! I'm not a mooch, I'm just efficient. 

Soundtrack

Life is more fun when you listen to your ipod...all the time.  I used to think that wearing your headphone plastered to your ear was just a way to distance yourself from other people.  But since I've been going for the tunes everytime I walk out the door I've noticed a smile popping up on my face involuntarily...ALL THE TIME! It's great- you should all try it.  Next time you're walking down the street by yourself, plug in to your favorite playlist and lipsink with RECKLESS ABANDON. Britney's got nothin' on YOU.  Let me know how it makes you feel :). I'd love to know if it affects your involuntary-smile-mechanism the way it affects mine. 

Intersections

I live in Boston.  Weird  I know. Well, weird for me.  All you long-haul bostonians may feel differently but for me, this is one place I never would have pictured myself living.  Utah is home, always has been, always would have been...until lately.  But that's a whole 'nother post.  Boston is foreign.  No car, no house, no cat, no Mom, no Dad and a big hole in my heart where my sisters should be.  No mountains, no high school friends, no nature center by my elementary school, and what I miss most of all....a 360 degree view of the sky from anywhere.    

But tonight I loved this city.  I felt at home in the city.  I walked up from the rumbling tunnel at the Hynes Convention Center Stop, my new tennis shoe boots bounced along as I bobbed my head to the tune Jon (Mayer) was crooning in my ear.  I sang along, not caring (on purpose) what anyone around me thought of my animated lipsinking. And as I reached the intersection of Mass Ave. and Boylston I looked up.  The moon was brighter than ever against the black sky, and the stars smiled down from constellations that I've never learned.  They seemed to spread away from each other, reminding me of how much of the sky I could see from that spot.  I saw my worlds connect from the same blanketed sky that I've always looked to for a glimpse of divinity in my home town.  

I turned in a circle with my face to the sky, remembering moments from years gone by with these same heavenly witnesses present.  And I felt so grateful.  I realized that I will always have the important things- I'll have my Mom, my Dad, my friends, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my heart, my likes and dislikes, the sky, and God.  They may be invisible temporarily, just like the sky hidden by the skyscrapers of a big city.  But it's at those times of change, and decision that they become clear again. It's at the intersection that you finally see the sky........ 

........don't forget to look up ;)