Allow

I feel hard, inside
Scabbed and mean
I don't like the person I must be right now
I am impatient for my potential!!!

In every healing process,
there is a wall, a defense.
blood gathers at the vulnerable area
makes contact with outside elements,
the humidity, the softness leaves,
pulled out by the surrounding air,
And what's left is a wall
temporary
necessary
to protect the tender vulnerability beneath.
To destroy the wall only prolongs the process
and increases likelihood of scarring
you must not touch it
let it do its job

We talk so much of breaking walls,
So our hearts can be open to the ones we love.
but did you know a heart
between each beat that sends that vital fluid to each practical functioning organ,
it takes one beat for itself

A tree,
in times of turbulence
slows its growth
focusing on what is essential

the desire to be whole
is fulfilled in the living water
the flowing blood
the broken flesh

He is my wall
my only defense
in times of weakness I think to pick with an ax
to destroy the wall
to reach the past

the past is gone- I would be disappointed
He knows the outside better than I:
the vulnerable and tender center

And when I am ready
my wall will fall
no force required
just as a tree shedding bark
or a scab at the right moment
or a loose tooth when it's ready
or a baby breaking water
or a heart after a self sustaining beat

Consider the Lilies,
They toil not,
Neither do they spin



And neither shall I