Why I believe in Abstinence before marriage...a few reasons among many many others

Last night I had an awesome time hanging out with some friends from school, we made dinner and watched some disney magic (beauty and the beast ;) ). It was so awesome, we didn't do anything huge just spent time together eating and talking. Seriously, that's where it's at. Having good relationships with people you love. That's really the purpose of life- to know and love people.

Now, this is kind of an interesting way of stating one's belief and knowledge of something so important to them, but I felt that this was an indirect way of expressing something with out having things misconstrued as judgement of anyone who believes differently or any greater amount of love for someone who believes similarly. I do my best to love everyone as equally as I can (of course I'm human- some people are harder than others...) and to avoid judging anyone unfairly. That being said I want to clarify my stance on a couple things that came up in discussion while I was spending time with some classmates.

I want to bear my testimony that God lives. As our culture and government slowly comes closer and closer to secularism being the state religion, the belief in God and religious practices are considered less and less legitimate as basis for life choices, goals, and political viewpoints. A firm belief in God becomes more and more an idea for the minority and may be seen as weak or illogical. Despite this new norm, I know that I have seen God's hand in my life. He is real. He is our Father. He loves me and you more than we could ever comprehend. Not only am I able to pray to Him and receive answers and help in religious matters, but He helps me in school, helps me in social situations, helps me get well when I'm sick, and blesses me with more than I could thank Him for. He has provided everything good in my life- including hard times where I can grow more than any other time. He's sent me people to love and to love me back, no matter our background or belief. I need only to see the sun shine through my window, marvel and at the incredible gift of life on this earth (the only planet capable of sustaining it....wo) and I truly feel that I cannot DENY that He is real.

One other issue that come up in discussion was that of sex before marriage. The norm on this subject, for me, all growing up was that participating in sex before marriage is a sin and very dangerous. I followed that rule for a long time, not truly understanding its purpose and reasoning. But as I've grown older and seen the relationships of people around me at home, and then those of my classmates in school I've come to understand this commandment not as a rule of a "don't" but more of the opposite "do." DO save the greatest expression of physical affection for someone with whom you promise to be with forever. By saving that act of intimacy you show that spouse that you: 1-value that physical relationship and set them apart from other people you've dated 2- See this relationship as more important than any other 3- Love them for who they are and not your physical chemistry 4- have the willpower to remain faithful to them 5- value the creation of life (children) and the responsibility that comes with that 6-are not using them 7-don't have any lifelong diseases to share together 8- respect yourself and your body 9-see sex as a very serious commitment, not an ambiguous deluge of affection that can be forgotten tomorrow. When you get two people together who can show that kind of commitment to one another THAT is a dang strong relationship. Someone you can rely on and trust.

Waiting also saves you from: being used and undervalued, unwanted pregnancy, the terrible heartbreaking event of abortion, higher risk of divorce (it's true there are statistics), disease--ew. And what about the spiritual, chemical, emotional connection? I think it's safe to argue that it's much easier to break up with a total jerk you've only kissed than the one you've given your whole self to. In many dating relationships today sex comes in the earliest stages often before time has been spent finding out anything about the person, what they believe in, what they want from a relationship, what their intentions are etc. That can be very dangerous physically- not to mention emotionally or both.

Are there ways to build that kind of strong relationship without waiting- sure. There are some lucky people out there. But personally, I'd rather not rely on luck. Not when there's a way to be more sure and more protected. Are there crappy relationships that still happen when people wait? - sure. But the reason for the crappy relationship is NOT that they waited. That's when other factors come in- attitudes, keeping romance alive, careers, dishonesty etc. There are a million ways to mess up a marriage or relationship, but waiting until the promise is made in the right place at the right time with the right person, to be fully intimate, is NOT one of them.

Again, I'd like to say that though these statements are bold and unabashed, those who believe differently are not loved any less in my book, either by me or by God. He loves us no matter what. He wants us to choose the best way to find happiness- that's why He gives us commandments. But if we choose an alternate route (that will always be harder than the one He's suggested) we're still His children and He still loves us beyond comprehension. And though I'm human and not capable of loving any of you the way He does, I strive to love you that much no matter your choices, religion, orientation or creed. Thanks for reading - and know that I'm open to talking about any of these things in person. I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ, as my testimony of the truthfulness of them, amen.